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augusti 22, 2005

what's this all about?

hmmmm, jau kokia walanda kyla klausimas: kokia prasme sleptis nuo wisu, ir sedet kajp kurmiui uzhsikasusiam zhemese? jauties kajp pilkos mases atstowas, niekada perdaug neishsiskiri, neparodai kas esi ir kox esi. tajp, taj turi priwalumu, nudegi mazhew uzh kitus, sunku tawe iskaudint, kadangi net nelabai prisileidi ka nors prie sawes ir dushios paradines durys twirtai uzhtrenktos ir uzhrakintos keturiom spynom. bet ish kitos puses, neigauni jokios patirties, pradedi grauzht sawe ish widaus ir sawisaugos siena pradeda trukinet ir byret. ja griauna nepilnawertishkumo ir baimes jausmas. taj kas nors man paaishkinkit, kur logika? kokia prasme gywent tik su sawim ir pamirsht kas taj per daiktas shypsena ar nuoshirdus juokas? gal ir jausies saugesnis widuj, bet tajp ir mirsi wienas...

can someone please lend me the key to this damn door?

augusti 21, 2005

inperfection

kajp kartais wiskas gali apsiwersti totaliai aukshtyn kojom. wiena diena wiskas geraj, sih wisu pusiu shypsenos, wisi patenkinti, kita diena tarsi totalus armagedonas. shypsenos patampa priekaishtajs, linxmi weidai apsiniaukia, akys pasidaro juodos, pilnos pykcio. ir wiskas del ko? del gywenime padarytu klaidu, kurias kajp bebutu gaila, daro wisi, wienokias ar kitokias. neklystanciu nera, yra tik tie, kurie nepripazhista sawo klaidu. wieni ish ju mokosi, kiti net neatkrejpia demesio i nieka, kas wyxta aplink...gaila tik tiek, kad pasimokom per welaj.

zhinau sawo klaidas ir zhinau ka darew netajp, bet persistengt irgi nebutina.

augusti 13, 2005

the kid'll hate his mom for this:D

humiliation:D bet mamos mintis topine :

http://www.gophergas.com/funstuff/cupsize.htm

just a poem

I lie alone
Alone in my bed
Crazy thoughts
Fly through my head,
I can't hide
From this pain
Burning flames
In my veins
Open eyes
Scared to see
The disguise
You wear for me...
I'm on the outside,
And i'm looking in.
I can see through you,
See your true colors...
Inside you're lonely,
Lonely like me,
Outside you're smilin',
While inside you scream,
Cause i can see through you,
Whilke you try not to cry,
And now that i see you,
You don't have to hide.
You're locked in a cage
And long to be free.
There's far too much rage
So express it to me
Scream in my face,
Break down in tears,
Don't let it hide,
It won't dissapear.
All of this time,
We've been so alone.
Give me your hand,
And i'll take you hime.
Throw the disguise
Right out the door.
Open your eyes
And i'll show you more.
I'm on the outside
And i'm looking in,
I can see through you...
See your true colors.
Cause inside you're lonely,
Lonely like me.
But you can see through me,
See me. The real me.
And right now i'm breaking,
Deep down inside,
And i'll fight forever,
I won't let us die.
All the tears,
That we hide,
Are with fears,
Deep inside.
I'm afraid,
And i fight,
But i'm alone,
Everynight.
And i hate
When you cry
Cause your tears
Shouldn't hide...
And i stand
Right outside,
The last tear
Has run dry...
But you're still lonely,
Lonely like me.
So welcome me inside
Inside your mind.
Don't have to be lonely,
Be lonely with me.
Cause now i can see you,
The real you...
And inside you're smilin',
Smilin' with me,
And outside we're cryin'
Cause noone can see
That inside we're happy
Together again
Take back the anger
Put pain to an end.

I kept my promise
And it's left unbroken
I know you're the one
The one that i've chosen.
Cause when i was outside,
And looked passt your skin,
You've looked back at me,
And welcomed me in.

***

too bad this one ain't mine.

augusti 5, 2005

mintis

mes kuriame ne istorija, o gywenimo aprashymus, ir ne wisuomet paciuose swarbiausiuose darbuose ishryshkeja geris ar ydos, bet dazhnai koks menkutis poelgis, zhodis ar samojis geriau ir aishkiau atspindi zhmogaus charakteri, nei kautynes, kuriose zhuwa deshimtys tukstanciu, nei wadowawimas didzhiulems armijoms ir miestu apsiaustims.

auksiniai zhodzhiai...

augusti 3, 2005

no topic, just life

kajp keista matyt zhmones aplink sawe krintancius ir nebenorincius atsikelt. kur prasme? juk gywenimas tuo nesibaigia. taip, matai aplink mirshtancius brangius zhmones, matai draugus parandancius wilti kada nors atsistot del sudauzhytos shirdies. jie to nenori, ir wienintelis dalykas kuris gali priwerst juos atsigaut yra jie patys, pasitikejimas kitais. i know, one person once told me - trust is a weakness. but i think trust is a virtue. visur ir viskame yra rizika. kazino - arba tu laimi daug, arba tu prarandi wiska ka pastatei, gywenime, arba tu surandi drauga, kuris del tawes atiduotu wiska, arba prarandi pasitikejima zhmonem ir krenti wel zhemyn. taip, dingsta noras kazhka bandyt, bet dugnas turi sawo priwalumu - nuo jo gali atsispirt ir pakilt dar aukshciau, tereikia drasos...

feelings

mol draugai mato, kai zhmogus parinasi. matai savo mylima zhmogu, kuris taip pat parinasi ir tau xujowa, nes niekuom negali jam padet. nori - bet negali. Viena akimirka reishkia wiska, viskas reishkia nieko. Vienas akiu kontaktas, suprastas ish abieju pusiu; kai zhmoniu shirdies duzhiai plaka wienu ritmu - reishkia gerokai daugiau nei wisas gywenimas praleistas su zhmogumi, kuriam prisiekiai meile prie altoriaus. Viena vienintele akimirka nepakeiciama. Mylimo zhmogaus atsakymas i tawo jausmus reishkia wiska. Kai ishgirsti tai - zhinai, supranti, kad TAI yra gywenimas.

augusti 2, 2005

fake

how many times does the thought cross the mind of people, that they know their friends? for a mistake i thought so too. trusting people is like diving off a cliff into an ocean. you never know if you'll ever reach the surface again. for some reason it's weird. you lose trust in one person, you lose it all. you start to doubt even your closest friends, people that would always be there for you and never leave you in the dark. that's how i see the meaning of the word friend. naive, i know...
how can you regain trust in a person, if you lost trust in humanity itself?...