metalife

weird feeling. nera nej parkiu, nej kazhkokio dzhiaugsmo ar aplamai emociju. keista kaj diena susitinki su draugu, ir taw tajp grazhiai ishskalbia smegenis, kad wiskas pasidaro pakankamai aishq ir logishka, tik lieka wienas klausimas: uzh ka?
how many times in my life did i fight everybody, just to defend my oppinion? why? no, not to protect someone or etc, i guess now it was just to feel better. so that i can do something to, that i'm ABLE to do something. all this time i felt like i was someone, a personality of a sort. but the more i think, the more i come to realise, that up until now i lived for everybody, but not me. i lived for my friends, my loved ones, always blamed myself, if something went wrong. but that bullshit! it's not my fault, and i'm not taking the blame anymore. just forget it. forget who i was, now i'm gonna continue fighting my way through this shit, but this time for a different purpose: not for someone else, but for me. maybe that'll make me a bitch and not as a good friend as i used to be, but i'm gonna have my life. well, and as for the people that won't like it, well that's just not my F*&^% problem ,)

i scream, but without a sound, i cry, but without a tear, i bleed, but without blood...

I woke up to the real life
and I realized It's not worth running from anymore
when there was nowhere left to hide I found out
that nothings real here but I won't stop now until I find a better part of me

I let those hard days get me down
and all the things I hate got in my way
I could've screamed without a sound
I found myself silenced by those things they say