September 11, 2011

chain of memories pt.1 war-saw

warsaw this time doesn't seem like a cold big city with a lot of strangers. people walk around smiling, enjoying their sunlight, and i walk around them enjoying my solitude. my mind occasionally flickers to the points of my life which made me go there, and sometimes i still fell into alienation bits, but i call it "Henry Rollins experience"* and go on with my thoughts, revealing more and more about myself, situation i am into, and the whole life pattern business. later we will go to library with garden and a river on top of its' roof - can you imagine it? i can have garden in my mind, but the river? it just doesn't fit in. i'm looking forward to make more there.

* "there's a great feeling when you're totally resolved. when you make the jump from being lonely to being only. when you're so totally alone and absolute. when you are the number one. this is a great moment. finally you know something. it's all yours. when i have put myself through the human test and come through it still being able to say my name and knowing that there's nothing else for me and no one for me, i become stronger. my will power grows. i push my pain threshold out farther. i'm able to take more. i'm able to learn more." ... " best not to mix the past with the present. the present paints the past with gold. the past paints the present with lead. when i run backwards i feel the desperation rise. best for me to hurtle headlong into the present. never look back. maybe catch on fire if i do it right." ... "that's all there's - the Right Now. if we don't plant ourselves in the front row of the present, i predict that if any of us reach old age, we'll be sitting on the front porch thinking, "Damn, shoulda burned all the temples, screamed, danced and dragged life through the coals." i align myself with life's brutal headlong lunge towards Death. i am in motion at all times. waging war with Exhaustion. winning some and losing some." -------> Henri Rollins, BLACK COFFEE BLUES

Posted by xdirtx at September 11, 2011 7:08 PM
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