'cause recalling past won't ever work for any future
learning to admit that you can't have it all at once
trying to teach myself i don't need it all at once
'cause too much is never enough
and all you have then is a bad-sleep-nights and never-shut-up-throat
to put it all inside and feel no taste
to engage inner decay and pretend to be happy with that
something is wrong with that
it is that too much is not enough
to hold on to a moment
Of course there is no good way to recall past all the time
but there are days and lived moments behind,
that we remember on our ways through towns and dreams
but, who knows, what all that does mean
to me, to you .. to everyone of us.
What is future ..not more than an imagination
or some plans, someone wants to put into reality.
Future is the road, we have to travel on ...
so or so .. there is time coming, which wants to be filled
with useable things as with useless things
There are such a lot of damned useless things.
Running around with lost head ... with empty mind ...
Is life like a circle, where everything will be repeated ...
or is it a process, where we are involved in ..
Don,t know .. i am just bored by it all nowadays.
Cannot find something interesting to myself.
What I know is that we are all born to die ..
sooner or later ... and we are the ones, who have to fill this life with content and colours ..
But for what reason ... for what damned results ...
I die sometimes and vanish away ...
Let,s,s look for another world .. inside or outside ...
I want to change .. I want something new ...
I lost a lot .. I found nothing
I want to climb up a hill to spit onto this little ball of earth and their inhabitants...
But .. let them alone doing their boring things ..
Let them themselves bother themselves ..
killing each other .. using each other .. in bad sense.
I lived a long time .. I want to leave soon ...
because nothing did change regarding the PAST..
regarding the centuries behind, I can only see the same structure in civilization.
There could be more ... but I won,t do, because I am afraid to hit the humanity, because .. because ... because .... let me know.
Because my senses are opened wide, but I cannot hear someone,s calling me.
All around silent and darkgrey .. dusty and shabby everything and moment.
Is it hate or only boredom.
Okay .. stay happy........